Your Self Talk, Naughty or Nice? The good, the bad and the harmful ways we talk to ourselves…and how to improve. Shifting the way we talk to ourselves makes a profound impact on how we view and treat ourselves and in turn how others view and treat us.
One thing is for certain we are always listening to what we say to ourselves. The sad fact, we say stuff to ourselves we would never say to another living thing. (Except if you are an asshole, psychopath.) We are critics of everything from our work to our looks. Why on Earth would we do this? We all know how good it feels when someone appreciates you or tells you ‘you look fabulous.’ Why don’t we do more of this for ourselves too if it feels so good?
We all have different reasons…none are very good. So let’s just stop that craptastic behavior and start fresh today.
Today we have a new rule!!! If you are saying to yourself something that would make you want to slap the person that said it to your best friend, lover or child…immediately cancel that thought and replace it. For example, You are walking past your reflection and you think “Wow, I look like shit today!” If someone said “you look like shit” to your loved one—not cool—Right? So, we cancel, delete and say “you look fabulous.” If you can not bring yourself to say that pick any positive statement. “Who cares if I am not at my most gorgeous. I feel fabulous and I am fabulous!” Be mindful to every critique you make from the little ones to the big ones.
One Shift: Clear negative self-talk by changing it to positive self-talk to gain more confidence.
Here are the 3 simple steps to make a habit:
- Become aware of self-talk
- Cancel, delete and rephrase to positive statements
- Add in more positive statements. Complement your self daily!
We say things about “who we are” when it is based on a momentary, singular incident. Like “I’m clumsy”, the one time we drop something; “I’m so forgetful” the time we leave our phone at home. When you look at these personas we claim to be, it might add up to 10 times out of the 487 times or 9 days out of the 365!!! However, the more we say these things the easier it is to believe and become these things. It does not hurt to rephrase and change the pattern. “I’m clumsy.” can become “oh, next time I will be more careful!” The most common plus damaging statement is “I’m stupid” please change this to ANYTHING better like “I’m learning new things every day and getting smarter and smarter.”
Thoughts become beliefs! Beliefs become your reality, even when it is not true! I prefer we all believe good things about ourselves and continue to improve every day. To help become more mindful about your self-talk grab your “Self-Talk Worksheet” below and to become kick-ass at mindfulness to bring more joy into your life join in the 21 Day Mindfulness Challenge where each day we do different mindfulness challenges!!!